sayitbetter’s blog

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What are five words you really like? 
Submitted by purplesque.

For fresh ideas about how to accomplish more with others (and enjoy the closeness of community) visit
Moving From Me to We blog+podcast
http://www.movingfrommetowe.com/

I first heard this parable when I was reporting in Europe. More recently it has popped up in over 700 places on the Internet, from Dotsie’s NABBW to ExtraMiler and Dally Kos. Guess it resonates again today.

"One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "Dear boy, the battle is between the two 'wolves' that exist inside us all.

One is Evil.
 It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good.
 It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee replied,
 "The one you feed."

As a reporter I held him in awe.  We all did. He was the standard bearer to which we all aspired.

Where’s the action? You’ll find David Halberstam there. What’s the truth? Read Halberstam’s article or book to find out.

Whether it was the early days of the civil rights movement, the collapse of the car industry, how the East Coast establishment determined foreign policy or the culture of the 1950s, Halberstam reported what Bill Moyers calls “the verifiable truth,” and he was often the first to do so.

Jon Meacham wrote today, “He changed history, for he helped change how America saw not only the war in Vietnam but the ways of Washington.”

Apparently Halberstam was in a car on the way to interview Y.A. Tittle, the former New York Giants quarterback, when his car was broadsided near the Dunbarton Bridge in the S.F. Bay Area. For once, the action literally came to him. It was the last way I’d see him dying.

There wasn’t a lazy bone in his body,” said Ted Kopple this morning in an NPR interview.

“He was just raw energy, you just saw the man in constant motion. I picture him at one or two in the morning looking over the last proofs of the paper before they went to print,” said Arthur J. Langguth, Jr., who was president of The Crimson when Halberstam was managing editor.

Speaking truth to power, Halberstam led that new breed of reporters in the 1960s to write as eyewitnesses. “He is likely to be most remembered for an unquenchable desire to describe what he saw in war,” writes Roy Peter Clark, Senior Scholar, Poynter Institute.

Clark reminds us of Halberstam’s view of that new role in a 1965 article in Commentary magazine:

"No one becomes a reporter to make friends, but neither is it pleasant in a situation like the war in Vietnam to find yourself completely at odds with the views of the highest officials of your country. The pessimism of the Saigon press corps was of the most reluctant kind: many of us came to love Vietnam, we saw our friends dying all around us, and we would have liked nothing better than to believe the war was going well and that it would eventually be won. But it was impossible for us to believe those things without denying the evidence of our own senses.... And so we had no alternative but to report the truth...."

His books often defined an era or the subject about which he was writing – and his book titles often labeled those topics. He was, for example, the first to label the Vietnam war as hopeless with his 1965 book (increasingly referred to these day when discussing Iraq) “The Making of a Quagmire.” I write this as soldiers are speaking up about the hopelessness of the war in Iraq, where one anonymous soldier who is interviewed refers to Halberstam as a source of inspiration. Bet it would make David grin, knowing that this soldier was probably not born when David was covering Vietnam.

"Because, in a world where too many of us use our mouths, David used his mind. In a world where fast and ignorant are celebrated, David was slow and cerebral," writes Mitch Albom.

Apparently when we are happy the facial muscles on our right side are more active than those on the left side. Those change more often when unhappy.

So next time you are talking with someone important to you and you try to figure out how that person is feeling you might get so absorbed in figuring it out that the poor dear you are staring intently at may wonder if he has a piece of egg on his face.

When dogs are happy, their tails wag more to the right side of their rumps. When they have negative feelings, their tail wagging is biased to the left.

Its all about the “emotional asymmetry in the brain,” according Richard J. Davidson, director of the Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience at the University of Wisconsin - where he has pursued research on meditation, through his longtime friendship with the Dalai Lama.

Read the rest of the story in Sandra Blakeslee’s article in the Science section of The New York Times.

Discover more tantalizing tidbits about reading faces by reading Paul Ekman’s groundbreaking book, Emotions Revealed and Telling Lies.

Read the complete story here.

Discover exactly how from a master at crafting the message.  Even if I often disagree with his beliefs and his stances, Roger Ailes (the man behind Fox TV)  knows how to gain attention and be remembered.

Read his bestseller You Are the Message: Getting What You Want by Being Who You Are.

This is a very good book for understanding how to take center stage in public or media appearances. Ailes shows you how to ensure that your words and personal presence are positively congruent with who you really are. For formal or spontaneous presentations or media interviews, you will find no better advisor than Ailes in this book. It reads like the insider's guide. Ailes was perhaps the first political consultant to recognize the enormous power of TV appearances to sway public opinion.

For 30 years Ailes has shaped how many people feel about certain politicians, business leaders, and celebrities. In this book you'll learn exactly how your nonverbal cues can either contradict your intended message or give it the extra lift of credibility that makes you the most talked-about expert in the room. He covers ways to be genuine in the display of humor, passion, response to attacks, apology, grief, and commitment to your message.

What Clients Love: A Field Guide to Growing Your Business by ever-popular Harry Beckwith.

When's the last time you found a business book so entertaining you wanted to read excerpts out loud to someone nearby?

That's how I heard about this book.

And the person who eagerly read excerpts to me wasn't even in business. From the movie Pretty Woman to how heart surgeons dress and over 250 other culture references, Beckwith draws original insights for delighting your clients. He suggests the four significant social changes that most affect your ability to grow your business, with numerous examples for each. Then he describes how to design your business to benefit from these changes.

Beckwith concludes by outlining the traits we need to succeed in "this Evolved Economy." Also included in the book is the most usable planning guide I've ever found, a checklist of questions for building an "exceptional business," a list of "traits of clients love," and a reading list and closing interview. If you are like me, you won't be able to put this book down. Yet the chapters are short, some less than a page, so you can easily pick up where you left off if interrupted.

Any manager in business, government, or a nonprofit group can use this book to better attract and serve their clients.

In keeping with Beckwith's philosophy of demonstrating genuine, innovative care for your customers, see how you can offer them more value – with the right partners and offers. Join thousands of others who've enthusiastically adopted this marketing tool to grow their business faster, even in soft economic times.

Read Walk Your Talk: Grow Your Business Faster Through Successful Cross-Promotional Partnerships. Get started sooner by also listening to the companion audiotape as you drive.

Learn graceful verbal self-defense maneuvers for facing difficult people or situations.

Read the idea-packed, often humorous news-you-can-use book Tongue Fu!: How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict by Sam Horn.

Increase your chances of staying positive in the face of argumentative or otherwise negative behavior. If you have complainers, bullies, or manipulators in your life, read this book for insights into how to turn the situation around or graciously step out of it.

Men and women of all personality styles have found relief in Horn's practical advice because she shows how to stand up for yourself without making the other person wrong and retaliatory. The entire book is based on specific situations accompanied by easy-to-remember steps for responding from a position of comfort and strength.

Read this book to learn how you can remain true to your values without becoming a target for others. Horn's examples and quotes from popular culture and personal experience as a mother and coach make this book come alive. In person, Horn is a shining example of the kindness reflected in her wise advice.

To learn more ways to restore calm and goodwill, or move on with your life read LikeABILITY, which you can download right now.

Learn graceful verbal self-defense maneuvers for facing difficult people or situations.

Read the idea-packed, often humorous news-you-can-use book Tongue Fu!: How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict by Sam Horn.

Increase your chances of staying positive in the face of argumentative or otherwise negative behavior. If you have complainers, bullies, or manipulators in your life, read this book for insights into how to turn the situation around or graciously step out of it.

Men and women of all personality styles have found relief in Horn's practical advice because she shows how to stand up for yourself without making the other person wrong and retaliatory. The entire book is based on specific situations accompanied by easy-to-remember steps for responding from a position of comfort and strength.

Read this book to learn how you can remain true to your values without becoming a target for others. Horn's examples and quotes from popular culture and personal experience as a mother and coach make this book come alive. In person, Horn is a shining example of the kindness reflected in her wise advice.

To learn more ways to restore calm and goodwill, or move on with your life read LikeABILITY, which you can download right now.